(See Soul Tending pgs. 40-43)

What choices are easy for you to make? What choices do you face that are hard to make? What are some of the tools you use when you have to make a difficult decision? 

Each of us is called upon to make numerous decision every day of our lives. Some decisions are easy: What do I wear today? Do I raise my hand to answer the teacher’s questions? Others are harder: Do I tell my best friend I am angry at her? Do I break up with my boyfriend or girlfriend? Do I file for divorce? How we make our decisions says a lot about who we are and about our relationship with God

We can make most of our choices by ourselves, but sometimes a decisions seems complicated and we know we need God’s help. Many choices will come easily out of who we understand ourselves to be. As a person of faith, I will no spread rumors, tell lies, or abuse my body. Yet what do I do about being in relationship with a friend who encourages me to do those things? How do I know which job will be the best fit for me and my family’s needs? How do I know when I’m ready to get married? How do I choose between activities I love when there is not time to do everything?

Discernment is the process of making decisions with God’s help. Centuries ago, Ignatius of Loyola suggested a “process of discernment” to guide people of faith through their decision-making process. Here’s a simple way to follow Ignatius’ ideas:

1. Gather all the information you need in order to make a particular decision. This may include talking to persons who would have helpful insight into your situation or friends who know you well.
2. Focus on one choice for a specific period of time. Write down all the reasons that support this option. Pray about it. Try to live as though you have made this choice, then pay attention to how you feel with this choice. Next spend the same amount of time living with and praying about the other choice. How do you feel with your options now?
3. Make a tentative decision after considering your feelings with all possible choices. Do you feel more peaceful with one decision? If so, offer that decision to God and know that you made the best possible decision you could make. If you still feel troubled about the decision, try the alternative choice or postpone the decision, if possible.

Discernment is a way of making decisions that reminds us we are not alone. God undergirds us in all that we do, and we have other people who can support us as we wrestle through complicated or troubling decisions. Look to the example of Jesus and other biblical figures to see how they made choices. In all our decisions, large and small, we can raise these questions with ourselves:

• Is this choice consistent with who God calls me to be?
• Is the Holy Spirit informing this decision?
• Which choice will help me become a more complete person?
• After spending quiet time with God about this decision, do I feel a leaning toward one alternative?

PRACTICE: Read Galatians 5:25. Make a list of questions the persons below could consider in the discernment process. How could they make the right decision? Who might each of these people enlist as helpers in the process?

1. Maria is sixteen, pregnant, and has come to you to help her decide what to do for her future.

2. Sam’s wife’s new job means a move to another state. Sam would like to stay in his current town and the job he likes and is passionate about, and their children are in high school and don’t want to move. Sam has come to you for guidance.

3. Anissa has been laid off. To make ends meet she has taken a job which means she’d work on Sundays and would miss worship and church activities during the week that she greatly enjoys and gives her life. She has come to you to help her figure what God is desiring for her.

None of us knows what decisions we will be called upon to make in the future; but as followers of Jesus, we do know certain things about ourselves. Think about the statements below. Which ones can you claim in your own life? If one doesn’t sound right to you, think about why you can’t accept its truth.

• I am a child of God.
• God wants me to be content.
• God created me to do good in the world.
• I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

HOMEWORK: (1) Talk to your spouse, friends, or family about time they have had to make difficult decisions. Find out what process they used. If they don’t know about discernment, share what you know with them. (2) Make a list of decisions you expect to make in the next ten years. How could you begin the discernment process now? (3) Read the following passages of Scripture every day this week and consider how they apply to prayerful decision-making: Psalm 73:24; Psalm 119:105; Romans 12:2; and James 1:5. (4) If you are trying to make a decision in your life right now, use the discernment process and spend time talking to God about your options.

REFLECTION: How has your life changed as you have introduced the discernment process into your life? How is your relationship with God, with others, and with your own self been deepened?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 11th, 2008 at 3:59 pm and is filed under Christian Formation Course. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.