[Friends] Fw: bible Humour

[Carol Voellger]

>
>         STORY OF ELIJAH
>
>           The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of 
>El ijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how El 
>ijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces, and laid 
>it upon the altar.  And then, El ijah commanded the people of God to fill 
>four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four 
>times.
>
>           "Now, said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the 
>Lord would have El ijah pour water over the steer on the altar?"
>
>           A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand,
>
>         "I know! I know!" she said, "To make the gravy!"
>
>
>
>         LOT 'S WIFE
>
>           The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked 
>back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My 
>Mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, 
>"and she turned into a telephone pole!"
>
>
>
>           GOOD SAMARITAN
>
>           A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the 
>Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She 
>described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the 
>drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the 
>roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"  A thoughtful 
>little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."
>
>
>
>           DID NOAH FISH?
>
>           A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a 
>lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?"  "No," replied David. "How could 
>he, with just two worms?"
>
>
>
>           HIGHER POWER
>
>           A Sunday school teacher said to her children, " We have been 
>learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a 
>higher power.  Can anybody tell me what it is?"
>
>           One child blurted out, "Aces!"
>
>
>
>          MOSES &THE RED SEA
>
>           Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned 
>in Sunday school. "Well, Mum, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind 
>enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt . When 
>he got to the Red Sea , he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the 
>people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for 
>reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the 
>Israelites were saved."  "Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher 
>taught you?" his mother asked.
>
>         "Well, no, Mum. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd 
>never believe it!"
>
>
>
>          THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
>
>           A Sunday school teacher decided to have her young class memorize 
>one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the 
>youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about the 
>task -- but, he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he 
>could barely get past the first line.
>
>           On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in 
>front of the congregation, Rickey was so nervous. When it was his turn, he 
>stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, 
>and that's all I need to know."
>
>
>
>           Church Smiles
>
>         There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible 
>to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable 
>in here?" asked the postal clerk.
>
>          "Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.
>
>
>
>          While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amish 
>carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because 
>attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign...
>
>         "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass.
>
>           Caution: Do not step in exhaust.
>
>
>
>          Sunday after church, a Mum asked her very young daughter what the 
>lesson was about. The daughter answered, " Don 't be scared, you'll get 
>your quilt." Needless to say, the Mum was perplexed.  Later in the day, the 
>pastor stopped by for tea and the Mum asked him what that morning's Sunday 
>school lesson was about.  He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."
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>   Love and blessings,
>   Daphne
>
>   -----------------------------
>   http://groups.msn.com/Walkingtogetherinlove
>
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>
>Debora Robinson
>  "For thus hath the Lord said unto me, Go, set a watchman, let him
>  declare  what he seeth."
>  (Isaiah 21:6)
>
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